Thursday, November 26, 2009

Yes, I am pissed at the media this evening

Stop fricking scaring everyone about the H1N1 vaccine! It's not a big conspiracy, even though people are making money (because that's what drug companies do), and it's not the vaccine's fault that some people don't know what they're allergic to! Drug allergies happen. It's tragic, but it happens.

It doesn't matter if your article is balanced, if the headline scream it'll kill you, that's what people remember.

Oh, and boo freaking who to the people who have a bit of soreness, tiredness, or sniffly noses afterward. I would rather have had the stiffness, and sniffly nose that 7.5 weeks of this shit. Pneumonia, coughing, fever, soreness (way worse than from the bloody shot, I bet) and swelling around the heart is in a fair trade off. Wait, you know another term for swelling around the heart -- or at least what it would've been called if it had gotten any worse? It's called congestive heart failure. Take your stuffy noses and shove it.

For those who don't get the shot, it is totally your choice. It's not a fricking badge of honour to show you're Toughy McToughypants, or look down on the people that do get the shot.

Finally, to the "it's just the flu, suck it up" people: learn your history.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

All right, this is long enough

46 days (all inclusive) since it was suggested (by suggested, I mean pretty much told by a really awesome secretary) to go home and get well, here I am, still at home.


Well, technically, not at home -- at my family's, but same difference.


Several doctor's appointments after my last blog post, I may finally see the end of this thing. All right, not the end, but a light at the end of the tunnel.


First and foremost, my pneumonia, and cough, have cleared up, finally. My fever is not longer all over the place, but a very small low-grade one. My voice is back for casual conversations, but I can't project worth anything.


The biggest problem, are my headaches and fatigue. Both are lingering effects of the nasty sinus infection, and the complete body-battering given to me by the H1N1.

At my next appointment, on Tuesday, I'm finally going to discuss heading back to work, half-time, if the fever remnants are finally gone. Both my union and my health and wellness (and my family) don't want me any where near the petri dish of my workplace until the fever is gone. In all honesty, as frustrated as I am with not working, they're right. Anyone who has ever worked in a school knows exactly how unclean those places are. I don't think there's enough anti-baterial agent in the world just to get the second floor of mine clean.


Interestingly enough, after some examination, and frustation over losing a huge number of sick days, over something I picked up at work, there is no recompence for me. Doctors can't sign off that this was a workplace related illness, as it can't be conclusively proven that's where I picked it up. While there is a point in that argument, I bet if every ill child was kept at home, instead of sent to work, I bet absenteeism amongst staff would be way down. Of course, this goes for the staff as well.

When I do go back, everyone, from professional, to personal, to medical, want me to start back half-time. It'll be weird for me not just to jump back into work, but with the fatigue, I know I'm not capable of it. So, opnce back half-time, the debate will be when to head back full time.


I'm all for the traditional work ethic, but there comes a point that one person's desire not to miss work, (whether it be a staff member or parent not able to stay home) puts everyone else at risk.

I'm not one to usually comment on specific press stories, but there has been a slew of late with people suffering the way I am. We, as a nation, don't know what the long-term effects of something like this is. For most, it's the flu, and recovery time is standard, but for an increasing number of us, if the press is to be believed, it's more like SARS for some -- much more deadly and affecting than originally thought. Well, this isn't called a pandemic for nothing.

Just this Friday, I finally received a response from my parents' MPP, who I e-mailed back in October. Unfortunately, all he could do was espress his sympathies and say he'lll pass this along to my MPP, who also happens to be the health critic.

Thus, after all of this, I'm expecting nothing from the government. Not that I expected anything to be done about little old me, but now that the clinics are emptying, and no one has shockingly died of late, all the huge problems my province has had with this pandemic will be swept under the rug.

Besides, since I did send my initial complaint about how the government's dealt with this to my parents' MPP, and he can't do anything, passing it off to the woman I rejected sending it to, might, which is mathematically, if not practically possible, wind up with less than nothing being accomplished.

And I'm still just damned tired.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

My blog: misnomer?

No, I definitely had H1N1, but I'll never appear on any statistical analysis because I didn't walk into a hospital, but, as it turns out, I haven't survived it, yet.

My major complication, after the main part of the actual flu was over, was pneumonia. Correct that, is pneumonia. Well, at least the news is consistent by telling me about which body parts it hits. The news may focus on who jumped the queue and scaring everyone about the vaccine, only to then have a story on how H1N1 will kill you, your children, and probably your cat, but at least the medical data, for the most part, is consistent.

The last x-ray of my lungs showed I was getting better -- and I was really hoping to get back to work this week. Seriously, I don't think my students will remember what I look like. Plus, with being off since October 5th, I'm starting to think my brain's rotting from lack of use.

Not that my voice has improved. It's the one thing that's not come back, for any period of time. I think it ran off with my stamina. If anyone sees a voice without a body, wandering around with some stamina, send it back my way. I will need my voice and stamina before dealing with 90 students a day.

The appointment with my doctor did not go well. He needs to sign a form releasing me to return to work. I try to be rational describing the symptoms I do have, but when it comes to his stethoscope and blood tests, my reason can't win. I've backtracked. In my head, I knew this, as my fever was starting to creep up again until it was well over a degree above normal, over the previous three days. Obviously, I was still fighting some infection. Thus, he wouldn't sign even a half-time return to work form, and I'm off to see him, yet again, next Wednesday.

I have a broken internal thermostat. I always have. Though it'll keep my body consistently .4 of a degree below every other average human's, I'll feel hot and cold.

Now on round four of antibiotics, my pharmacist, and her cashier know me by name, and ask about my H1N1/chest infection. I've seen them more in the last 5 weeks than I have my whole life. This time, the drug specifically targets lung infections, but it has the unfortunate side effect of making me feel nauseous. I didn't even want to eat some pumpkin pie. If you know me personally, that will explain how nauseous I am. I pick pumpkin pie over birthday cake every year.

In short, I'm back up a couple of meds, and in temperature. I'm off even longer from work, eating up more of my saved sick days. I know I shouldn't think about work, but what happens when I go back. One co-worker joked about having "no mercy" when I return, but the joke fell horribly flat. I know how behind I'll be, even though I've had a decent, and consistent supply over the last three weeks. It was a passive aggressive comment that failed to be even slightly humourous.

I can no longer find any humour in this and I still haven't survived H1N1, yet.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

My family and the plague

Now that there's the OMG THE PANIC!!!11!! about getting the vaccine, here I have a dilemma. First of all, do I get the vaccine, if there's any available, even though I've (probably - a phrase which here means definitely, despite the lack of official diagnosis) I've already had it.

The answer is, yes. Sure, it's selfish, as I'm probably immune, but it's the only action I can take to protest the current state of affairs.

On the other hand, this post isn't about me, it's about my family and that damned priority list.

My father has had leukemia twice; that means a permanently compromised immune system. He also had a secondary cancer, due to all the post-leukemia / immune suppressing drugs, which resulted in a 10.5 hours journal-worthy surgery and 1000 micro-stitches. My mother has had breast cancer (this past year) and is my dad's primary caregiver. That means, do they fall under the priority list? No. My parents are both over 65.

My parents, other than their problems, are healthy. Sure, it doesn't sound like that could be true, but anyone who knows my parents, knows what I'm talking about.

Now, anyone who has ever said no to my mother, has learned, the hard way -- particularly if it's about the health of my dad. Sure, it took a phone call to her MPP's office, and several phone calls to the health unit, but my mother managed to talk her way into getting the shot -- based on a one time article in the newspaper that listed immuno-compromised as a priority group, but didn't give an age limit. She was even able to get a set time, as the health unit agreed it wouldn't be productive to put my father around a bunch of people. Yay for someone reasonable throughout this crisis.

Not that this does anything for my sister-in-law. Because she's not a hockey player, or super, super rich, she won't be getting the shot any time soon, and I'm sure, in her job, she deals with way more people.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

A new, not entirely healthy, update

Having had yet another x-ray, doctor's appointment and blood test, there is finally something to update.

Monday, I went to my doctor's, expecting to be told I was somewhat better, but not well. Unfortunately, the x-ray tech from Friday hadn't sent him the report, but from the sound of my lungs, he figured the pneumonia was clearing up. Despite that, my energy has still been at a super low level (I'm at about 40% of my usual energy) energy-wise, but it's better than my estimate last week (25%).

So, all he could do is listen to my lungs, and order up one more blood test, as we're afraid that this may have triggered a virus that's dormant in my system, Mono. (I've had it three times.) Also, there's a concern because of a symptom I've not mentioned here before -- hives and / or rashes on my extremities (particularly forearms and feet) on and off throughout this. Seriously, the itching has been really bad at times. The reason: I'm probably allergic to the H1N1. Seriously, I'm probably allergic to the virus. It's one of the reasons the doctor think I've had such difficulty. This makes the number of things I'm allergic to, to 4: cats (only with constant exposure), perfume, mold, and the H1N1 virus.

Oh, Murphy must've been having a really, really, evil day when he decided to play with me.

He's signed me out of work until Monday, hoping the test and x-ray will be normal, or close to normal.

So, my doctor called me with the report. While there is some evidence of stuff (my term, not his) still in my lungs, it's dramatically decreased. Also, the swelling around my heart is 90% gone. This totally fits in with my return to work plan next Monday. Now we just have to wait on both the specialized blood test, and plain old hey is anything up, blood test.

This week, I'm on Doctor's orders to recuperate and get my stamina back. The supply that's in for me will have to do the report cards, and any interviews still outstanding. Also, the supply will be there Monday, to help transition everything back to me. I haven't talked to Health and Wellness yet, but I'd like him to be there Tuesday too, in case my voice can't handle it. It's the one thing that really isn't getting any better. Some days, I sound like a bad cell phone advert -- one where the caller is constantly breaking up. Others, I just sound like I've aged 50 years, but I guess a month of coughing can do that.

For some stats:

Days off work: 23 (work days, if I make it back on Monday)
Vials of blood taken: 8
X-rays: 2
Days with a fever over 102: 9
Days with a fever: 13
Days with serious aches and pains: 18
Days with a seriously diminished (or no) voice: 20
Days with pneumonia: 14
Days with a cough: 22
Different medications: 6
Days I've been medicated: 23